Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Confession..

Is the time for some holim's confession. Frankly saying, I have been evading something by which I have done very wrong long time ago. If you still remember, one of my post, saying that no matter how the world will be turning upside down, I will stay in college and apply for PM  . . Well, I will talk about this now..  I have been pretending to ignore what I have said earlier and move on. 

I talk big and bull. I have talked about repaying senior good deed, reviving cc's board, and a lot more BULLSHITTING CRAPS. At the end, I bite my tongue and eat my own word. One of the deepest regret I have done. 

I am moving out from this college next sem. I think many are surprise. That make me an unprincipal people and hipocrite. I am trying to be cool about it . But I can't, trying to delete that particular blog, but I am too ashame to even touch it.  Yes, I am ashame by myself. 

Thinking that maybe , I can do something to repay my fault. So, I tried to apply for PM. In fact, I am the earliest person to summit the application form. Thought that maybe I can do something fo cc's junior and let me feel better before I left. But, I failed. The coll rejected me. Sad . . . . Would I carry this shame forever and forbid me to do anything about it? I don know....

I try to apply for PM central. Well, with my finger crossed, hope that I will get this. Argh!

Too late... 

Too late...

I wish I could join the cc's board . . I wish I could become PM and join JTK . . 
so sorry guys... I think, maybe I have let many people down. I am so boasting about how I want to live in coll and become PM.. and lastly, I am those of the first to jump off the ship. I am so hipocrite . . .

Gomenasai . . . 

Ok, enough of grunting like a little baby... I have successfully dig out my thorn  which is buried deep down in my heart. In short, nothing is for sure until the very last minute. Your future will change with just a click of decision. There is only two result.. you happy with it or you regret for it... but the worst is when you decide to turn your head around and keep grunting and grunting. I won't do that. I will make myself live better and happier than I would find in college. 

Congrate to Lap Fong, Lee yin, See yee, Joey and freedom(prefer calling you this). You all are really care for cc.. I am ashame of myself.. sorry guys.. 

Not asking for forgiven, cause I can't forgive myself either. But as I am bearing this shame.. I will remind myself that I would not break my promise and principe next time...  

9 comments:

雅雅 said...

Actualy you didn't have to care it very much.Mans have own right to do whatever they want, so don't felt that you guilty or felt sorrow for that. We gonna respect your decision.

Jyphoon said...

Hey bro, don't be so emo.. We all are born to react with situations. Different situations require us to adapt differently and sometimes, the changes made might be drastic or sudden. Even though you've been bull-shitting that you'll contribute during the start of your academic year, due to what had happened for the past couple of months, things changed, people & decisions will be automatically changed. So it's okay because last time you didn't know what will happen in the future. it's not about principles, it's about adaptability & survivability. A person who keeps to his words / principles can be considered as DETERMINANT, But if he chose to be so determined & doesn't want to change when the environment is changing around him, that is what I call STUPID.

plank ton said...
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plank ton said...

hahahah.. chill la brader., becoming a pm and joined cc board is not necessary the only way to contribute to cc board.. if you have the will, you can do it de.. at most, come back often and visit them lo.. ahahahah.. plus, it was me n philip who brainwash u to change ur decision...

holim said...

I never blame u all.. The final decision maker is not one else except me.. Anyway, I am ready to move on . . lolx

LEe YiN said...

lolx~ dun forget to come back and see those 'siu mui mui' oh~~~ i will help to 'reserve' for u...kekeke~ n dun forget us--"lou ye"...XD

holim said...

Leeyin u said wan har... must reserve for me ha.. must be A1 grade d.. hahahaha

Xiao Gui said...
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ivana said...

ermmm dunno wat to say but is just gambatae ba not everything is so smooth in life but believe your self ,Adversity introduces a man to himself. When you're feeling your worst, that's when you get to know yourself the best.