Infatuation ? Love ?

Voila, again this is not a post jammed with crappy photos of mine. But soon enough you will see lot lot of them. Because I had just back from a trip to Ipoh.

Lets talk about one word. Infatuation.

Last week, I came to realize the existence of this word. I never come across this word before. No need to say if I understand what it mean, it sound like a bread getting  bigger when dipped inside water.

Well, after understanding this word. It make sense.

For some of you, who do not know what is infatuation mean, it mean ( I use my own way to explain about it, for better explaination, please ask Mr. Google.)

It is a combination of several chemical reaction inside our body which create a sense of strong attraction whether mentally / physically toward the targeted one. Which will cause our heart to beat faster due to adrenaline pump, anxiety and nervouses due to changes of hormone and feeling of contented/ happy/ satisfy due to phenylalanine which can be found in chocolate. Some time, it is powerful enough to sabotage our logical motor in brain. Which make people to do something extraordinary (unexpected act).

Sum up all of this reaction together, you get the sense of I-Cant-Live-My-Live-Without-You and You-Are-The-One feeling. From here, you I would say . . we are in the state of infatuate.Which is created by our system's chemical reaction.

A question for myself is ...

Did I make moves on girls because of I-seriously-love-them or I-Think-She-Is-My-Destine-One? Or is it just an over-dose infatuation pump in my body during that time that finally by-pass my logical system? Things started to make sense to me. It's all explained.

Well, that mean I am back to ground zero. Getting to know the meaning of infatuation doesn't mean I know what is love. For what I am sure, I knew the feeling of infatuation so damn well. But, did the love come along too? Can love and infatuation co-exist ?

Anyway, let me explained the feeling of infatuation according to my experience.

When one is infatuated, he/she will came upon a lot feeling due to hormone changes. Feeling of Happy when they get good attention from he/her, Jealous and angry when he/she seem close to others guys and feeling sick-emo-sour of feeling when she is far away from you, the great anxiety and nervous when waiting for his/her reply (sms , msn , whatever) and despair/sorrow when effort / result did not get appreciated.

All of this, is the symptom of infatuation. This is what many used to believe it is the feeling of 'love'.

Undeniably, it is a cruel fact. Love doesn't come that easy. It need to be well nurture just like planting a seed. But this seed, is the world hardest plant to grow. It take a lot of effort, pain, attention and time to make it grow.

Thanks to infatuation. It drive us to grow it.

For what I think, infatuation never last. But love will. When infatuation is gone, only love is what it remain to continue binding the relationship together. If during the period of infatuation, the seed of love do not grow... then I would say it is a gone case. This is where break-up come into play.

Infatuation is vital. Without it, human will never have the passion and determination to grow the seed. But, I believe passion and determination alone can't guarantee a sure success.

Because you can never grow a rose on dessert ain't ? If you do manage to grow it as a result of one extreme determination and another with extreme tolerance.

The rose will surely grow even at desert..... will it grow beautiful then ?

Lets talk something else

My blog had turned to photography blog. Which destroy my initial motive to create this blog as a place to voice my thought and feeling.

Lets put photography aside for this time, and talk about something else. Something else that related to my emotional side. There will be no crappy photos this time. Voila !

I am a third senior now. I had seriously fell in love with one girl during my first year and go all-out for her. But failed. I think it is not a secret anymore and many knew about it.

During my second year, just a month before my industrial training, I had fell in love with a girl again. But this time, I am not that all-out compare to my first year. Upon her indirect rejection, she said, maybe I never knew what is love about and never know how it feel like. Maybe ya or maybe no. I never google the definition of love and how it should be felt in the heart.

I just believe the pain , bitter , sweet and unexplained unique sourness in my heart that time. Especially the sense of sourness that almost kill you every time your mind too free and started to think about her.

That moment, I define it as fall-in-love. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps it is not define such a way in the love encyclopedia. Perhaps I should ask my parent about it. I do not know. Should there be only one love definition in this universe ?

Seriously I am a lucky boy. I am glad none of the effort of mine work out. Thinking back, I am immature back then. Very naive in fact. I act according to my sudden urge of feeling without realizing what is the most important homework to do before winning a girl-heart. Just like eagerly joining a war and grabbed just a machine gun with tonnes of bullet without even realizing that I will be fighting under the sea. I never try to understand the women from women's point of view. I always like to believe my own assumption and theory which always make me hit the wall so hard all the time without fail ;-)

That is my past. I am on my third year now. After enrolling myself in working society, maybe I have change though. My social circle had become temporary smaller and mixing with working adult maybe change me. In term of thinking perhaps.

I think, I am a super lucky bastard in town. For six months, I have 3 lady course-mate carpooling my car. All of them have boyfriend which make my shyness go away. Did I mention before that I have the natural shyness toward girls that are still available ? I hate myself that way, but it can't help. If a quality girl is single, I can't help myself but have a thought of tackling her even before get to know her name ! That is how shitty I am. Now I knew, why I scared away hell lotsa of girls. LOL

Because of them, I had developed a quality communication time with girls. Along the way, I sharpen my communication skill when talking to girl. They are all my Shifu in such a way that they always explain to me the girl's point of view. I am looking forward to write few posts about girl's fact which I understand.

Most importantly, is what it take to melt a girl heart which I never understand it for..... forever ? Hence, I start to dump away all of my brain's rubbish little by little and learn from ground zero. Gosh, I am surely love by my friend. Whenever we had lunch or dinner, all of them always taking turn to teach me the art of winning a girl heart. LOL

Thanks for the advise guys. My inner self had growth a lot as well as my self-esteem. I think I will never notice how far it grow but surely I know it do growth. But for now, as I have look with my own eyes of the actual working world. I think I know how to set my priority right.

Lunch @ Kura

I met up my sibling and cousin for a lunch at Kura.

Kura is not tortoise, though it mean like that in malay. It is a name of a Japanese restaurant located at One Utama. Maybe I am a cheapo which never tastes a really great High Class Jap Food. For me, Kura is really great in term of its service and foods.

But we are not sitting on that table facing the chef la. Because we come quite a number, so they get us a private room which is very comfy. Actually this is not my first time here. My department director had treated me before for a lunch here few weeks back. That was my first time having a classy Jap food. And I love it !

But I was damn regret that time for not taking along my 4K and missing out a lot of great photos. By the way, 4k is my camera. I love to call it that way because it cause me that Bombing Amount !

 Well, this time I am going to snap till the kingdom come.

Did I mentioned before that I came with my cousin ? My cousin is really a nice person. Though older than us almost 10 years + but we are very clicked. This whole lunch is sponsored by my sis and cousins. My brother and I eat free free.... paiseh desneh.

The cousin of mine, have a very cute pair of son and daughter. She had taught her daughter very well in term of fashion and posing since small. So I grabbed this opportunity to mimic a studio style photography.

 

Well, that sum up my fantastic lunch @ Kura. Planning to lunch over there for 3rd time with my friend at the last week of internship. But this time, no more free lunch I guess XD

Eco Film Festival

Last Saturday event was Freedom Film Festival, and a day after that was Eco Film Festival. Junyen and I were volunteer photographer for both event.


If Freedom Film Festival was about freedom and human right, then Eco Film Festival would be about Environment and Health.

Both is very differ in their own way but have similar goal which is to build a better future.

Though we do not get allowance, but free t-shirt and foods were provided. By the way, the t-shirt was cool though.


The movie hall is definitely greater than the hall of PKNS tower, but sad to say that the film quality is not that good. I do not enjoy it though except for one clip that was very informative.

The event was held at Econ Fact at University Malaya, which I am super duper familiar with. Apparently this event was bigger than Freedom Film Festival in the sense that their event area coverage was taking place at both outdoor and indoor.

But there made it look like Carnival with a lot of booth selling their product. Even big balloon games was there to entertain the kid. Erm, Rm10 Per round I guess ?

So, I was getting bored shooting photos of the Digi's booth (well, I not sure why their product is eco friendly) , organic products and others until I encounter one booth that was selling Dulux paint.



I was stunned. Who is this fine beauty ? O man. Heck, I am going to stop by the booth !

So, Junyen and I was hanging around the booth and see what they were selling and spent some time to do their survey (actually finding an opportunity to interact la).

I have help them to do survey, and of course I will demand a pay back yo.

Give me the best smile she can ever give. And then, I continue to stray around snapping random pictures and then spotted another cute little lady.


I think she was a promoter. Though, the event area was big, but I hardly find other interesting stuffs that worth to shoot. Maybe because of my in-experience.

I saw a booth which was promoting a eco film, but I forget what is the film about. I just remembered why I stopped by the booth. It is because of this little tree of wishes


They prepared a lot of dry leaf/seed ( I not sure) and let us to hang on it after we wrote something on it.


This is mine. Wishing everyone to stay healthy always =)

Before the clock hit Afternoon, the sun was so might hot. When everyone foresee that rain is rather impossible, the nature proved them wrong.

It is very heavy !


When the rain start to subdue, I had spotted two 'My FM' MyVi searching for car park. I was delighted because I am getting bored for snapping the same old thing several time.


At least there something new to snap. Too bad, I do not recognize the crew. All I knew is Lam Tak Weng and Ngan Mei Yan because I only listen to the morning session of My Fm broadcast.


Just before Junyen and I decided to call-off our shift, we were asked nicely by an old couple to help them promote their home-made eco dishes. They asked whether we have facebook or not and would like us to promote their product.

And since we are the photographer and owned a blog. why not ? So we agreed




They are pro jelly maker. They made Jelly in various of patterns and can be used as birthday cake. Because it was 'eco', hence it should be healthier than normal high-carb + sugar cake.

To be frank, this event was partly successful. They had prepared a huge hall for it, but only a handful of people were actually interested to watch the film. Most preferred to stroll around the booth although the screening should be the highlight of the event.

For this, I shall give a good applause to Freedom Film Festival for its achievement.

Freedom Film Festival

This is a voluntary program, that I know I must join. Besides getting an opportunity to learn about human right, I can practice my photography skill along the way.

Yes, I am a volunteer photographer for that event. Same goes to JunYen.

And it is a paid job =) which is my first paid job as a photographer. RM50 only, but I am jumping till the heaven high XD. (Actually, that is not consider a salary, it is just an incentive to thanks our helping hand. Well, I still love to consider it as a paid job)

Back to the event, It was held at PKNS tower 15th floor.

Wondering if you guys have notice this banner anywhere before.


It had a large hall which can hold a capacity of 500 pax. There were a round 20 volunteer helping around and to my amaze,



Ladies were the one in charge in technical field and they have totally full control of it ! They control the sound, the movie and the communication too. Damn, they are good ! Well, girls could look sweet and adorable from outside,

but



When they are serious . . . dig your grave, if you mess with them. (right? junyen XD)

There is one thing that some of our friend would like to keep it low profile. They might be a low profiler in Uni, but at outside . . .



this friend of our is a hardcore activist. Oh ya, including this too


He is very very popular. Seriously
You will be surprise after knowing how much NGO program they had helped out. Go talk with them, I sure they have lot to tell haha. Andhie, hope that you don't kena ALKU la.

Andhie, will be manning a stall which will sell handcraft made by indigenous people. Seriously, there are actually people buying it. Business is good some more. lol

It was a close event which was held inside a building. So, it will be quite cramp when everyone was there. But, I would never ever forget one of my Photography principal which I have make since I get my camera. Which is,

Never let Beauty slip-away uncaptured.

Well, sad to say that the lady in green was the prettiest of all since there were not much competitor around.

But, perhaps some like Korean


Or pure Indigenous people


She is seriously cute. By the way, I never ask her whether she is indigenous descendant or not, it was just my plain guess from my observation.

One thing that I am totally agree with a friend of mine. Which I look him as a skillful photographer. That thing was, photographer must overcome their shyness and dare to take photos of people. Especially when your lens cant zoom that much XD. Maximum focal length of 50mm really not far at all !

Can I get this ???
70-200 mm f/2.8 L ... wuhuhuhu

Did I tell you that this event is not some half-cooked cheapskate stuff? I am pretty sure of it when they could invite two Yang Berhormat and one ambassador of Netherland as honourable guess.

YB ...... I forget. It is that ladies in pink tudung.

And the Netherlands ambassador with his wife. The media were invited too. As expected, professional photographers were there to do a media cover.

A paid photographer is not unusual to lug two set of DSLR around. And I have spotted two people using L lens


They snap people with their super zoom lens , and I snap them instead. Well, as I said, mine maximum focal point of 50mm really ain't far and I won't wanna become a highlight by taking photos 5 feet away from the YB. So, I stay where I was and snap their photographer instead hahaha.

BTW

Do you spot Junyen in the photo below ?


Of course you did !!! I have no idea h0w he manage to squeeze himself in the crowd of professional with his 1000D + 18-55mm !!!!!!!!!!!!
Damn, what can I say more ? His ball is larger than mine God Damn It !

Seriously, I have a real good time over there. This is the first time I take photography extra serious as I considered it a paid job :p

And the best of all the photos I took that day..... is this


Shooting through a window glass. You can see city light out there. Thanks FFF for this opportunity. I am having fun.

By the way, I had use up the RM50 for grocery shopping today XD. And stay tune for Eco Film Festival which had been held today. Again, Junyen and I were the official volunteer photographer.

No pay - Sad case

But got free food + cool t-shirt - =)

20K blog counter =)

=D

Finally my blog counter had arrived at another benchmark which mark my first 20K blog clicker (well, actually most might probably just pass-by).

I soon came to realize that I don't have 20k readers actually, but I do have 20K times of people accessing my blog space. Well, to be frank (Not that I want to be the sakai) I myself might have contribute 10K of it XD, but to have extra 10K 'click' contribute by others are seriously good enough for me =)

I still remember there was a time when I came back from a trip to Langkawi and I have blog about the trip with lotsa of photos. Just in a mere weeks, my blog counter mark an increment from 2-3K to 8-9K ! So, I was thinking that the Blog counter (Free apps of course) gone haywire. But soon, I found out that some traveling website had marked my Langkawi post as a recommended link to learn about LangKawi. Without my permission. Well, since I did not registered it under copy right..... but, I do not mind too XD

From that day on, the counter was slowly increase from time to time till now. Marked my first 20K count.

Thanks for the free apps and please don't die out.

Internship in IBM

There is been a while since I talk about my Internship. Well, not because it was so dead boring and not worth to filled up my precious blog space. In fact, I was hellish busy since my colleague departure. The extra time that I managed to fork out had been spent with my 550D, hence I have no extra time or just plain lazy to talk about it.

Just 1 month and a half remaining till my thank-god-finally-is-here long holiday before my sem start. I guess my manager start to realize that I am leaving soon, and there is no way I would extend my internship. So, my workload become very heavy and have to excellent in multi-tasking. Last time, I am given all-the-time-pass in the world to work on my system. There is no such thing as dead-line for it. Maybe because 6 month is seem freaking long. Now that my merdeka is near, my manager start eye-ing on me. Not only my manager, but other senior as well. For me being known as the longest serving intern in HR, I had already possess sufficient knowledge to do my related job, everyone try to get the full use of me. My manager want me to pace up my current project so that I could start doing my 3rd project (which is non-exist yet). Other senior hope to recruit new intern and ask me (I don think I could reject) to tutor and guide them before I leave. Well, for knowledge transfer I guess. Gosh, and also some petty office boy work.

Besides facing a serious headaching symptom toward my complex coding projects, I have to finish up piles of test cases (test until the system is successful !) in a short period of time. Actually is my greedy-ness to take up this role. My manager offer an opportunity to become a tester for a new system. Although my both arm is full of load, my wonderful mouth still spit out 'sure, no problem' without giving a second thought. Lol, because of that, I am granted a special permission to access IBM server from home. This privilege is not applicable to all. Some contractor that had work for years do not get this access. But I have ! Yeah (that mean, you have to work even at home la moron. =_x")

Good thing is, my time in office flew seriously fast and I have to spend every minute wisely. After 4 months plus of serving under IBM, my manager start to place good trust on me. I started to handle big-time project which will soon handle all IBMer Malaysia Compensation and Benefit. It will becoming a really large system and database in near future once it started put in good use. Working hard on it !!

My first project was enhancing some system called Rental Management system, which will handle all international assignee accommodation. It was now being used by IBM HR department. That was my first project and it was not that tough compare to my current project.

I believe I will be able to complete this project before I leave IBM and make sure it will still be usable for many years to come. So, what actually motivate me in IBM ?

My answer will be, to leave something behind when I leave and be put into good use for many years to come. So that I could tell everyone outside, that IBM HR is currently using my developed system to do their job ^^. Ain't it cool ? haha

Family expansion =D

Hooray ! Finally my auntie successfully delivered her little princess. Yesterday was the day and it happened in Tropicana Medical Center.


Though these cute little niece have a wide age gap with me, but she and I have the same status in family hierarchy. My uncle is younger brother of my father, which make me a little senior than this new niece. Haha.

One of my purpose to purchase this camera of mine so early, is to snap this precious moment of my newly born niece.




When I snap photos, I always seek for naturality as if I am invisible when taking photos. Yeah, kinda like stalker style.

Hence this little model, really met up all my requirement because every shot from my cam, are just perfectly pure and innocent.

And . . . here come my Uncle


A new daddy in field. His very first daughter.

First touch from both father and mother are crucially important in order to develop a strong relationship.

Well, my uncle smiling all the time. When he got his time with her daughter, outer element like me, the annoying photographer who making lotsa noise of 'chigit , chigit' . . . is not significant any more.


My grandma. She is really a house-sticker. It is so hard to get her out from house unless there is something important. Even during Chinese New Year, she would prefer to stay in house watching television. For this case, it got what it take for her to come out from the house.


Together with my 2nd Uncle and his family


Well, I always hate environment inside hospital. The aura is so negative. I hate it so much ! But, labor floor really make a different. Everyone is smiling.


And I love that. Well, Omedeto gozaimasu to my uncle and auntie for safely delivered this little princess and thanks for this precious photo-shooting opportunity. =D

Jim Birthday

Yesterday is a birthday of a friend of mine.

Jim

We made a simple celebration for him, but effort-full. So, we tried to surprise him by all of us gathering somewhere outside his house.



And we squat and hide when Jim suddenly open his house door. Seriously, a bunch of peoples hiding on some lorong will really make people suspicious. I felt like car theft pulak though I squatting beside my car with my camera unlock, reading to shoot whatever on-sight.

Phew, Jim went back in. So we proceed to prepare the Birthday Cake !

(-____- "")

Nobody bring matches or Lighter.

Hence, this sakai try to use car-cigarette-heater to light it up.


I would say, this is kinda a smart move ! Lighting a tissue / paper with that. But, cannot work.

So, we search high and low for fire.


Finally, Joey saw a guy smoking outside of his house. So, Joey tried to borrow his lighter.

And succeeded. They ran back like wind with happy face. Of course la, Joey wor ! Any guy will give her anything if she dare to ask. Haha

So, we lighted up the candle and protect the fire from wind

And we storm his house with a cake , and 2 sparkling juices.




Happy Birthday Jim =)