My blog had turned to photography blog. Which destroy my initial motive to create this blog as a place to voice my thought and feeling.
Lets put photography aside for this time, and talk about something else. Something else that related to my emotional side. There will be no crappy photos this time. Voila !
I am a third senior now. I had seriously fell in love with one girl during my first year and go all-out for her. But failed. I think it is not a secret anymore and many knew about it.
During my second year, just a month before my industrial training, I had fell in love with a girl again. But this time, I am not that all-out compare to my first year. Upon her indirect rejection, she said, maybe I never knew what is love about and never know how it feel like. Maybe ya or maybe no. I never google the definition of love and how it should be felt in the heart.
I just believe the pain , bitter , sweet and unexplained unique sourness in my heart that time. Especially the sense of sourness that almost kill you every time your mind too free and started to think about her.
That moment, I define it as fall-in-love. Perhaps I am wrong. Perhaps it is not define such a way in the love encyclopedia. Perhaps I should ask my parent about it. I do not know. Should there be only one love definition in this universe ?
Seriously I am a lucky boy. I am glad none of the effort of mine work out. Thinking back, I am immature back then. Very naive in fact. I act according to my sudden urge of feeling without realizing what is the most important homework to do before winning a girl-heart. Just like eagerly joining a war and grabbed just a machine gun with tonnes of bullet without even realizing that I will be fighting under the sea. I never try to understand the women from women's point of view. I always like to believe my own assumption and theory which always make me hit the wall so hard all the time without fail ;-)
That is my past. I am on my third year now. After enrolling myself in working society, maybe I have change though. My social circle had become temporary smaller and mixing with working adult maybe change me. In term of thinking perhaps.
I think, I am a super lucky bastard in town. For six months, I have 3 lady course-mate carpooling my car. All of them have boyfriend which make my shyness go away. Did I mention before that I have the natural shyness toward girls that are still available ? I hate myself that way, but it can't help. If a quality girl is single, I can't help myself but have a thought of tackling her even before get to know her name ! That is how shitty I am. Now I knew, why I scared away hell lotsa of girls. LOL
Because of them, I had developed a quality communication time with girls. Along the way, I sharpen my communication skill when talking to girl. They are all my Shifu in such a way that they always explain to me the girl's point of view. I am looking forward to write few posts about girl's fact which I understand.
Most importantly, is what it take to melt a girl heart which I never understand it for..... forever ? Hence, I start to dump away all of my brain's rubbish little by little and learn from ground zero. Gosh, I am surely love by my friend. Whenever we had lunch or dinner, all of them always taking turn to teach me the art of winning a girl heart. LOL
Thanks for the advise guys. My inner self had growth a lot as well as my self-esteem. I think I will never notice how far it grow but surely I know it do growth. But for now, as I have look with my own eyes of the actual working world. I think I know how to set my priority right.